Ice Cream Syndrome
by theperksofbeinganauthor
Summary: Gary is depressed about Leaf's disappearence and goes over the things he wished he had told her while he got the chance. Oldrivalshipping. Leaf/Gary.


This going to be my first song-fic, but not the certainly not the last. Yahoo! Anyways, this is a song by Sukima Switch in Japanese. This is the official lyrics in English from Bulbapedia, so I'm sorry if the lyrics are incorrect. You know, there are always mess-ups when something is being translated from one language to another, so there's really not a correct way. I believe it's such a sad and sweet song... I've been obsessed with it recently. It's called Ice Cream Syndrome if you haven't caught the title yet.

Anyways, I do not own Pokemon or the song.

Please enjoy!

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**~ Ice Cream Syndrome ~**

**theperksofbeinganauthor**

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_Our relationship is a casual one, to the point that we can talk about anything,_  
_We've been together a long time, but nothing's changed, has it?_  
_Even the mood that gets set up with such pains, gets poked fun at and is brought to an end._

I remember we used to be such close friends... best friends even. We've been friends for as long as we could remember. Our friendship has remained this way for quite some time; it was nothing more... nothing less. We were close enough for you to trust me enough and tell me everything that was on your mind. And I would do the same to you. However, you didn't tell me the thing I most wanted to hear, and I didn't tell you the thing I wanted you to know the most.

_I can't speak my mind; I can't add parentheses._  
_The sun shines scorchingly, my T-shirt is drenched in sweat._  
_It's like I'm all damp; I'll never get dry._

Every time I try telling you what I have hidden for the past ten years, I start sweating and getting nervous all of a sudden. My heart would beat extraordinarily faster than usual. This is the same feeling I have whenever I'm around you. No matter how many times I tried telling you, I can never get over my fear and anxiousness.

_I ran into a convenience store to escape, and bought a nostalgic comic book._  
_How would it be if you were here?_  
_Would you laugh with me?_

I would run away every time, making an excuse to do something else. I wouldn't be able to accomplish anything anytime soon. Oh how I wish you were here. Would we be able to enjoy it together like we used to? We used to do this all the time, but now, I haven't seen you in years. Where have you been? We haven't had any contact in a while. I miss you so much.

_We've been acting it out for so many years, casted as best friends._  
_The distant feeling is okay, but it would be tough if I could say my true intents._  
_You say it's easy to discuss, but you're always talking about your love life._

We have always been friends, the best of friends, and nothing more. I can deal with it, but I wished I could have told you what was on my mind all these years. It's killing me, not being able to tell you. All I wanted was to be something more. I wanted to tell you this, and you even encouraged me to tell you what was on my mind. How can I do so if you're always talking about these stupid guys that you seem to have random crushes on. The real truth is, I'm scared.

_I keep it inside my delicate heart to not be found out,_  
_I want the smile reflected deep in my eyes to only belong to me._  
_For whatever reason, it won't be burned in there._

And because of that, I'll keep my thoughts and desires to myself. I rather you not know about this and continue with your fantasy with those crushes of yours. It seems as if you really like them. However, I can't help but feel jealous and angry because I can't imagine you belonging to anyone but me. I want you to myself, and I won't share you with anyone else. I know that's a bit selfish, but I don't care. I want to see your smile again, and I'll make sure your smile will be everlasting as long as you're with me.

_If I softly peek into the finder; it seems like you're even,_  
_Further and further away than I imagined,_  
_Someday you'll disappear with someone._

I can't help but wonder where in the world you are right now. You left without telling me a single detail, and we haven't had any contact whatsoever. I know you're not that far away, but I can't help but think that you're halfway across the world. I sometimes feel like I'll never see you again. Now I'm starting to regret not telling you earlier. What if you meet someone else you like, and I don't want that person to take you away from me. I could never stand it if you did. Why didn't I tell you before? Why did you have to be so far away? Why did you have to leave my side?

_If I look up, there's a jet plane tearing the blue sky in half,_  
_The summer is flying away to the distant sky._  
_The seasons are already passing by._

As the different time of years passed by one by one, I can't help but wonder when you'll be back. It's summer now, and I'm feeling more alone than ever. I remember how we used to spend the summers together in the warm sun watching the beautiful blue skies above everything. Now, the sky seems so plain and empty without you beside me.

_We stand awkwardly amidst the haze of heat,_  
_Even in this blurred world,_  
_Only you remain without distortion._

Everything seems so confusing around us in the world. I never seem to understand anything at all. With such strange thoughts, the only thing I am able to understand is you. You are always there in my world without a care and so clear. I can still see you clearly in my dreams everyday. I can't remember a single day I wasn't thinking about you; I seem to be dreaming about you too, day and night.

_The syndrome called "friendship" is a perpetual labyrinth without exit._  
_It's frightening even to move,_  
_So I can't take a step forward._

I can't seem to comprehend what our friendship really is. It was simple, yet I turned it so complicated. How can we best friends if I have such feelings for you? How can we remain that way without messing it up because of my stupid feelings for you. It's not my fault; you're so easy to fall for. Sometimes, I don't even know what to do. I'm afraid of making a mistake and ruining everything for the both of us. It's so complicated, how things are now, that I am scared to death. I don't want anything to happen between us. Now, our friendship isn't the same anymore since it's missing one thing: you.

_The ice cream that I had meant to eat has melted all over,_  
_Destiny doesn't wait though I want to encounter it right now,_  
_Maybe I'll try calling it out._

I think I missed my chance of telling you since you are no longer here with me. I wish destiny can bring us back together because I can no longer stand not having you by my side. If only there was a way to get destiny to help me get back to you. Now, I just have to hope that you are missing me as much as I'm missing you.

_With an unusually serious voice,_  
_If I had taken it away like that,_  
_I might already be able to vigorously convey, the feelings I hold._

If only I was able to feel strong and confident, I might be able to tell you how I feel by now, and we would be happily together. However, that was not the case. I was always so nervous when I was near you I didn't know what to do. You always make things so difficult for me. I was all because I was so nervous. Why didn't I tell you how I feel when I got the chance? I blame my nervous system, and my brain for being such a chicken.

_If I peek into that finder,_  
_I hope that you look close enough,_  
_That I could reach my hands to you._

I want to see you again. I want to run into you again. I want to talk to you again. I want to be able to spend time with you again. If not a forever, then a moment would be fine. That's all I ask for... just one more moment with you, so I can memorize that wonderful person you call yourself. And so that I can tell you how much I really care about you. If I don't get it done by then, I know I'll never be able to accomplish the task. How can such a simple task like that be so hard to accomplish?

_If happiness increases, it's not a big deal,_  
_When I'm with you, no matter when,_  
_You always seem to sparkle._

I always feel happy when you're with me. I don't know how you do it, but it seems as if you have this ability inside you that brightens up everyone's day. Well maybe that just happens to me, but that's beside the point. You always make each day shine and sparkle even if it's cloudy and gloomy. I want you back beside me. I want you to stay with me. I want to tell you my true feelings. I want to be able to tell you how much you truely mean to me. I want you to know... I want you to know everything that I have to tell you. I want you to know everything that I haven't gotten the courage to tell you yet. And that's all I want you to know for now. The rest can wait till later because I truely do not care about anything else in the world right now. I just want you to know how I feel. That's all. Leaf, please come back.

**~ The End ~**

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So how was it? Did you like it? hate it? Review! Pwease! Tell me what you think. I want to know. Comments, criticism, and compliments are all appriciated and wanted.

I know, I know. This is my... fourth story with oldrivalshipping that is posted. And third if you're talking about pure oldrivalshipping. I can't help it; I'm in love with Oldrivalshipping. I'm planning to post another Oldrivalshipping long-fic in a month, so be sure to read it. It's going to be my best story yet.

With love,

Lily :D


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